A Planted Seed

High Point University, a university I was only at for one year, a university where I became friends with people, I still talk to day or at least friends with on Facebook. If we weren’t playing Spades in the lobby of the dorm, some of us would be out partying, including myself. I lost myself that year to alcohol, I got in trouble numerous times, put on probation, and almost kicked out. I lied my way through it all. But through all the law and rule breaking, God was still reaching out to me.

I joined University Singers a group/choir meshed up with misfits and some amazing voices during the fall semester. I met some amazing people there. One in particular had a mission to change to my life.

She was handicapped. My selfish heart felt sorry for her, felt as if I had to take a stand and become friends with her because everyone deserves friends. So we would spend some afternoons walking and talking. I may have been hungover some days, she didn’t seem to care. She was there to start her ministry, her dream was to become a minister, to reach people like herself.

Jesus was the topic of discussion must days. Everyday I would say, “that’s your thing”, “I don’t really care”,” I don’t believe in any of that” and give ridiculous or political reasons as to why, “I don’t even know if there is a God”. Jesus just wasn’t it for me. She knew I felt that way. But she didn’t stop sharing.

One tragic morning, I get a call. This girl who was trying to speak life into me, passed away. She was only 19 years old. If God really existed, she shouldn’t  have died, He wouldn’t have taken her life, not that soon. Her dreams never saw the light of day. This light I had in my life, was blown out as quickly as it was lit. I had no idea what to do, I was lost.

Some of my friends and I took the trip to her funeral. It was beautiful, but sad. High Point University later that week, put on their own dedication ceremony for her. University Singers was asked to sing because after all she was apart of it. We sang her two favorite songs, both Christian. The one I remember the most was, “I Can Only Imagine” by Mercy Me. As the words left my lips that day of her dedication, tears started to build, there was something about that song that planted in my soul.

Four years ago, I was heading down pathways that were dark and dreary. I started losing hope. I felt like a failure. I was rock bottom. Suddenly, I came across her picture I had.  “I Can Only Imagine”  started playing in my head. I downloaded it and listened to it on repeat. I felt as if that girl who tried to speak life into me was right there with me telling me it will be okay.

One year later, I realized who actually was with me telling me it was going to be okay. Everything she had said to me before, every promise she had ever stated, was true. Jesus is the answer and I saw why she had the dream she had.

I may have only known her a few months before the Lord took her home, but she was the most inspirational and the most loving person I have ever met. She was not scared of anything or anyone. She only had a love for Jesus and to share it with those around her. She may have not lived out her dream of being a full time minister but she reached this poor lost soul, I was part of her mission here on earth and for that I am joyful and thankful.

Last night, was the first night I had the chance to worship publicly to a song that  changed my life. I wanted to break down in tears with praise. I am forever thankful and cannot wait to see her face to face in heaven.

Relationships with God

How is your relationship with God?

I am not going to lie, I feel God is more like a friend than my Father in Heaven. I don’t know when this happened, when I started treating God as a friend. All I know is all of sudden it hit me while driving the other day.

It’s a hard realization to know that the God who created you, the God who knows everything about you, you treat them as someone you just hang out with sometimes. Do you constantly go to Him? Do you pray to Him in desperation? Or Do you pray when it’s convenient to you? Do you go to sleep without batting an eye on the fact you have not once that day talked to God or been in God’s word? or maybe you’re like me, and you feel guilty because you have not prayed and have not been in the Word but yet you still choose to sleep or ignore the fact you have not spoken to God or heard from Him.

Recently, I keep hearing myself say, “I haven’t heard from God lately”, “I feel forgotten”, “Why am I so lonely?” Sound familiar? The answer is I have forgotten Him that He is my God and not my friend. I haven’t heard from him because I don’t give him the time. I feel forgotten and lonely because I occasionally talk to Him.

He is not a friend who is going to give you a call because you didn’t contact them. He may throw signs but its up to you on whether or not you choose to ignore them. Treat God like The God, not your occasional friend. Pray and pray with desperation. Dive in the Word of God and allow Him to speak to you.

If you don’t give the effort to have a true relationship with God as your Father in heaven, temptation is probably knocking at your door and sin is right around the corner. Don’t give into sin because you haven’t been fighting your battles with a true relationship.

Prayer: God, you are amazing. You know everything about me but yet you still choose me. You still want to use me to do your will. I apologize for treating you God more as a friend than who you truly are. Be with me as I continue to strengthen our relationship. I know temptation may be waiting for me, but God please give me the strength not give in. I give you all the praise and all the honor. I love you Lord. In Jesus’s name. Amen. 

Communication 

Prayer is a powerful communication between you and your Father. Most of us including myself forget how much prayer and communication is important in our walk with Jesus. I was not placed on this earth to live a mediocre life, I was placed here to live a great life, living according the Word of God and living Gods will.
Recently, I have started a new way of approaching communication between my Father and I. Let me tell you, it is amazing. It will blow you away.

Get a pen and paper. Ready? That’s all you need, oh wait your missing the key thing, the Word of God. I have been studying and God has been speaking to me through this living Word. Things that I may skimmed or skipped over before. Things that I don’t even compute, but when I sit there and mediate on those words speaking from God through a human being. God speaks to me loud and clear. He’s giving me answers to questions I had on Christianity, that I never thought I’d find. He’s making look at things in my life and evaluate them.

He’s making me realize that I may not be able to change the world, by myself, but if I can change one persons life from the burning out of hell, that is all that matters.

I don’t care if I have to live a certain way to reach people. I don’t care if I have to give up things that are luxury in order to be able to reach people. There are lost souls out there that may have had a bad experience with another Christian. They may heard about Jesus, but if they never see an example of Christ in the flesh then they will never be able to have anything to relate to.

At our church, we has missionaries who devote their lives to Christ. They are there to be a light to young kids teenagers, young adults. They are there to be a living example of Christ so that maybe they can plant a seed, or at least attempt to lay a foundation. I am honored to be a part of a church family that cares, not just about themselves but the city and community around them.

If we never pray, if we never communicate with God. We will never get to see Gods glory in our lives, and maybe the lives of those around us. Someone prayed for me to be saved. 

My challenge for you is to pray your heart out for the lost souls around you, even if you don’t think they will ever come around. I was a lost soul. I was the one who challenged Christianity, but God saw favor in me and invited me into the kingdom of God, because he loves me and I finally allowed him to not only love me but to relieve love back from me. 

Read your bibles. Journal. Speak to God. Just don’t live a mediocre life, live the life God will provide for those who are faithful and surrender to Him.