Are you really wanting to be healed? Are willing to go to any measure and any circumstances to get the miracle?
John 5:1-17 talks about a man by the pool of water, in which in the pool at times Angels would bless the water and the first one in was healed. This guy was by the water wanting to be healed for 38 years, but always left a gap between where he was and the water pool. This allowed others to always be in front of him. He wasn’t going above and beyond to attempt to be healed. He could’ve fell into the water if he was at the waters edge, he could done something more than just be on his bed. However, in reality he became comfortable where he was. He didn’t really want to change, regardless of what his word spoken may have been.
How many of us today do the same thing? We sit there and we go and we wonder why God isn’t moving in our life and why things are not changing? Why are we still struggling with the same things over and over again? Some say it’s a pattern, but from just this scripture it’s because we may have temporarily given things up to God but we slowly go back into the same stuff.
For instance, I battle with loneliness. Why? Because I don’t think God is enough for me. That’s the true answer. But I have told myself it’s because I’m an introvert, it’s because I have no friends, it’s because no one cares, it’s because of this or that. Things begin to change, communication channels begin to open and I don’t feel lonely anymore but it’s only for a moment. I go back being insecure, I go back to thinking I’m not good enough, I go back to tiptoeing with my faith, I go back trying to please everyone.
I don’t want to change because I’m comfortable being insecure, sad enough to say. I’m comfortable being this broken woman. I’m comfortable in all things. I see fear and I run from it rather then trying to overcome it. I see great things, I see potential in my self, which is a battle in itself, and I run. I run because why would God use this woman. Why would God use me? Why am I special? Why am I chosen?
I have this feeling that I can go great things; that I was born to help change this world, at least the city of Baltimore. God has placed me in a great place to start my journey. But I can’t even accomplish any of this if I don’t jump into the pool of water, even if I’m not the first one the first time, it’s okay because God will give me another chance. I just have to be willing to move when it’s time.
God is enough for me. God can do all things.