Here is a simple truth, God knows everything, God is everywhere, God is with you right now. He knows intimate details about you that no one else knows. Before you fail, He knows. God is preparing a way for you. Stop pretending that He cannot see you. Stop thinking you can hide from him. It just doesn’t work. God provides the light to see you in the darkness, in darkest times.
I battled my darkest times in 9th grade. I have my family as a witness. I wanted my life to end. I didn’t feel worthy of living. I did turn to drugs, I turned to the computer to look for ways I can find worthiness. The more I got online, the more I clicked into inappropriate chatrooms and websites, the more I felt worthy. I got attention in ways a 14 year-old should’ve never gotten. I felt amazing, it was my high. But when those things got stripped from me, I began to go down a path, that was complete darkness. I had no worth anymore. I was alone. I wrote a suicide note, I was done with life. I had no one to turn to. I had nothing. But God has a better plan for me.There was a small light that started to overcome my darkness. I did not have scripture. I did not even have faith. I did not have anything. But someone helped me out of the darkness, I did not do it by myself.
God was with me even when I didn’t even care if He existed. If there is a glimpse that someone has been watching over you, someone is looking out for you, somehow things always work out…God is that someone. If God did not love YOU he would have not taken on flesh, be tempted, be tortured, and eventually die for YOUR sins.
It’s a hard concept to realize that God made you worthy of everything. Jesus would still get up on the cross for YOU, if it was just YOU. YOU are worth dying for. I am worth dying for. That begger that you pass on the street, they are worth dying for. God is everywhere. God is in everything. If you open your eyes and your heart you can see it and you can spread it. It is your choice whether or not you do so.