He will not Abandon

God is with us.

That is the saying right? The saying the truth that we are all suppose to believe. God is with us.

I have debated this in my head all day long. I have come to realization that I haven’t been living as though He is with me. I have suffered from depression and ultimate feeling of feeling lonely but I was never alone. I just didn’t know God was there.

God is there regardless of what I am going through. Regardless if it’s a really bad day and nothing is going right, or if it’s a great day and everything is going great. He is also there when you fall to your knees and pray your heart out to Him, He is listening.

I have made it a pattern in my life that when something is not going right, it seems like I am going to have a bad day, I pause and I say a little prayer and then laugh and tell myself, “One thing cannot ruin my day” . I sometimes have to give myself a pep talk and tell myself that, “Whatever comes at me today, it’ll okay, because at the end of the day God you will not abandon me”. It surprises me that just be reminding myself that on days when I feel down, on days I do not want to get out of bed and face reality, I have a great day. God is with me throughout the day to remind me He will not abandon me.

But yet at my darkest moments, when I feel like I have failed life, when I feel like I am going backwards instead of moving forwards. I forget God is there. I forget that He is there when I sin, He is there in my darkest moments. But when I get to the point that I need Him to be there, when I open my bible and I cry out to him, I realize that He was there all along. He is the light that shines in my darkest times. I realized that I should never act that. I should never get so down on myself. But it happens. It happens if I don’t remind myself, that I am living my life not by own will, but His who put me here. My life is about doing God’s will through me. If it means picking up trash, if it means helping an old lady up the stairs, if it means sacrificing time that I could have to have “fun” or to be with my family or to sleep, if it means doing things that makes me sweat, if it things that makes me cry, if it means I lose for others to gain, I am okay with that.

God is there when I fall, and He will be there to lift me back up. I will face trails, I will face temptation, I will face fear. But hopefully reminding myself the God is with me always, and He will not abandon me, He will not forsake me, then maybe I will choose God more and choose sin less. I will be a bit more courageous when I feel fear creep over me. God can do amazing things through me, if I choose Him more.

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