I want to SHOUT

My family, that’s complicated. We’re complicated. People tell me I have a weird, drama full family. Now we have a Jesus worshiper and follower, and all she wants to do is just love Jesus and live HER life, not theirs. I am that person. I used to quiet subdued and did not say anything and just went with the flow. I decided to slam on the brakes to the fast track life of failure that I was going down. I decided to follow Jesus and do you know, even though “raised’ in a “Christian family”, they do not agree with my following. I get from every single one of them,”I’m glad it makes you happy”. Do they really? Makes me happy? In all honesty, my emotions and my brokenness is worse then when I was a fast track to hell. Not everyday am I happy, not everyday am full of joy, not everyday I laugh, not everyday to rejoice in the Lord; but I can and I should. I can turn back to Jesus and know that everything will be okay. I know that he is there. I can pray, I can worship him.  I have a savior.

(I also get, “Is she okay?”)

I do not care who agrees with me anymore. I don’t want to be quiet anymore. I don’t want to sit back and let people tell me what to believe. I want to be loud. He saved me from hell, from my past, from my failures. I am sick and tired of people telling me I am either a failure, or I have no idea what I am getting myself into. Guess what? I don’t care. I am saved regardless if I think my life is failing regardless if I don’t think I have anyone to turn to. Regardless of anything. I have Jesus Christ right beside me and he will be with me for an eternity. I can’t say that about my family, I can’t say that about my friends because I do not know who is “Christian” or who is a Christian. I cannot speak for them.  I can only speak for me and my relationship with God.  

 

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